Fallen For You
by attackonhunter
Summary: That man tried to make him his dinner. He would have killed him. He would have ate him. This was the same man that he was undoubtedly falling for. Life just wasn't fair, was it? For Tsukikane Week.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: First Kiss**

Kaneki jumped out of the way of Tsukiyama's first attack, launching himself into the air, kakugan activating and kagune materializing from his back. His eyes narrowing he dealt a light blow to the back of Tsukiyama's knee, making it buckle. But, the man didn't go to the ground, he simply stumbled, his quick healing capabilities rapidly taking care of the minor wound.

Kaneki narrowly avoided the next strike, landing down in barely enough time to evade. He growled as a thin cut appeared on his cheek, making blood trickle down. Tsukiyama's grin made his eyes narrow.

It was becoming a problem. Weeks ago, he would have had no difficulty avoiding an attack like that. But now… no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't help it. He knew, with every fight they had his attention was increasingly waning, and with every strike, he was becoming less and less relentless.

"Are you alright, Kaneki?" It was the first time Tsukiyama asked him that question, but Kaneki knew he had noticed his… deterioration some time ago.

Kaneki paused, eyes catching the movement of Tsukiyama's lips and he had to shake his head to clear it. "I'm fine. Let's continue."

Tsukiyama looked skeptical, but did as he was told. He continued to attack constantly, taking the offensive, since Kaneki seemed to stick with defensive. His every movement barely missed him, sometimes cutting shallow gashes into his skin. The smell of his blood was driving Tsukiyama mad.

He feigned to the right and then lunged in the other direction, slicing deep into Kaneki's right thigh. Kaneki gasped and jumped away and Tsukiyama jumped after him. He poised his kagune at his chest, and knew the moment Kaneki's eyes met his that the strike wasn't going to hit. Kaneki's kagune points were aimed at Tsukiyama and prepared to attack. It would have required a great amount of force, and therefore damage to Tsukiyama, to stop him. At the last moment, Kaneki drew his kagune in in an attempt to protect himself. Tsukiyama's eyes widened, but it was too late. The point pieced Kaneki's abdomen and they fell to the ground.

"Kaneki!" Tsukiyama huffed, pushing himself up.

Kaneki groaned and pressed his fingers against the hole in his torso. He winced and tried to raise himself up, but only fell back down with a gasp. "…_shit…_"

"Don't push yourself!" Tsukiyama's hands hovered over the wound worriedly, wondering what he should do.

Kaneki shoved him off in irritation. "It will _heal._ _Get off._" Tsukiyama did, put kneeled by his side. He knew it would heal. Kaneki was hurt so many times before, and a lot more seriously. But this time… this time _he_ was the one he hurt Kaneki. It was true he had done that before, but now…

He really didn't want to hurt him. As strange as it felt, Tsukiyama cared about him. Yes, Tsukiyama Shuu cared about someone. He would have laughed at the outrageousness, but it was hardly funny. Kaneki had accepted him as a friend, even after all that had happened. Tsukiyama never had anyone accept him like that before.

Was it strange that Kaneki was his first friend? Sure, he had had _associates_ before, people who used to eat at his restaurant. Those ties used to mean something to him. They were his life. The only thing that ever meant anything other than his desperate need to hunt down more and more desirable meals. He had thrown away those ties and thrown away his hunting for Kaneki. Initially, it was for the pure need to devour Kaneki. But now, he couldn't bear to do such a thing. If he did… what would be left for him? If Kaneki disappeared… Tsukiyama didn't want to think about that.

Against better judgement, and half expecting a kagune to swat him, he slid an arm under Kaneki's knees and the other along his back, careful to avoid his injury.

"What the _hell?_ Put me _down._" Kaneki pushed on his chest, wincing when the movement caused him pain. Kaneki felt like he wasn't in a good position. Tsukiyama was _too_ close and his scent was strong and Kaneki was humiliated that he had to resist the urge to bury his face into Tsukiyama's chest and inhale deeply.

"Please stop fidgeting, Kaneki." He said softly, taking it as a good sign that Kaneki hadn't tried to kill him yet. He was pleasantly surprised when Kaneki snorted and turned away, folding his arms over his chest. He allowed Tsukiyama to carry him to his room, heading into the bathroom to set him down on the edge of the bathtub.

"You can leave now." Kaneki mumbled, staring at the floor.

"_Non._" Tsukiyama lifted Kaneki's chin with his hand. "You're flushed. Are you ill?" Ghouls didn't get ill, but Kaneki was half-human…

Kaneki's eyes met Tsukiyama's and he froze. It was odd to see Tsukiyama so caring. Since when did he... He felt a warmth grow in his chest and he frowned. He _couldn't._ Not with Tsukiyama. Out of all bad ideas, that would probably be one of the worst. All Tsukiyama wanted to do was eat him. He was just another one of his meals… was he? With the way he was looking at him, it was easy for Kaneki to believe otherwise.

A palm pressed onto his forehead and Kaneki flicked his gaze away from Tsukiyama's piercing eyes. "I'm fine. I'm not sick."

Tsukiyama paused. "All right… let's take care of that wound then." Tsukiyama gently pulled up Kaneki's shirt, one corner stained darker with blood. When it was removed, Tsukiyama's hands were covered in slick blood. He swallowed deeply and moved to turn on the tap to rinse them.

Kaneki's hand gripped his wrist. "You want that. Don't you?" He was staring intently at Tsukiyama. He lifted Tsukiyama's hand to his mouth. "Well then? Don't waste it."

His tongue flipped out and soon, too soon, both of his hands were clean. He couldn't resist. Especially when Kaneki gave him permission. His bit his tongue and his own blood flooded in his mouth, chasing away some of the remnants of the taste of Kaneki's blood. It helped. Somewhat. But, not enough to allow him to willfully turn his eyes back to normal.

Once most of the hunger subsided, he realized Kaneki was watching at him peculiarly. "Kaneki?"

Kaneki's heart was fluttering in his chest and he found the heat travelling lower… his breath hitched and he impulsively pressed his palm against the almost healed hole in his abdomen, gathering as much blood as he could. He held it out to Tsukiyama, who looked at him in disbelief.

He felt the warmth of Tsukiyama's tongue against his skin and he moaned quietly, causing Tsukiyama to gape at him. He covered his face with his clean hand, as Tsukiyama still worked on his other. He flinched in surprise when his hand was taken in another, uncovering his face. He watched at Tsukiyama kissed his palm gently, removing the last of the blood.

Kaneki slowly pulled his hands free of Tsukiyama's, letting them find their way to the back of his head, mussing his hair. He drew him close, shuddering when he felt breath cool the wet skin on his side. He waited, biting his lip as Tsukiyama carefully placed his hands on his hips, stopping his squirming and firmly anchoring him in place. He still jumped when Tsukiyama licked him, picking up a long trail of blood before it dried.

Tsukiama swallowed, fingers tightening and digging into Kaneki's hips as he tried to maintain his composure. It was taking all of his will power to not bite, no matter how much he felt like he needed to. It was nearly impossible, but with Kaneki's quiet noises above him, a completely different desire was taking precedence. When the blood was gone, Tsukiyama could see with disappointment that the wound was already closed, keeping it from bleeding any more. Instead of biting, Tsukiyama nibbled the ridges of Kaneki's ribs.

Tsukiyama gazed up at Kaneki, who had his eyes closed and lip bitten in an effort to silence himself, despite the fact they were the only ones there at that moment. Enticed by both the small beads of blood on Kaneki's lips and his _dolce_ expression, Tsukiyama leaned up, capturing Kaneki's lips. He pressed lightly, gently, testing how Kaneki would react. When he felt him relax, he threaded a hand through his hair, kissing him more deeply. He ran his tongue along the seam of Kaneki's lips and slipped it inside when Kaneki opened his mouth with a moan.

The taste of Kaneki mouth and the taste of his blood mixed together was truly heavenly. He delved into the flavour, wrapping an arm around Kaneki and bringing them chest to chest, the hand in Kaneki's hair tilting his head so he would have better access. Kaneki's arms snaked around his neck and Tsukiyama wanted nothing more than to ravish the young man, leaving him trembling and moaning.

He pulled back with a groan, chastely kissing Kaneki's forehead. He was in no way prepared for something like that. He doubted Kaneki was either. In the heat of the moment, one of them had to keep their senses, and Tsukiyama had just reined his in, while it seemed Kaneki had not.

Eventually, what had just transcended seemed to dawn on him. He blushed furiously, one hand covering his mouth in either embarrassment or shock, or perhaps both. He abruptly turned his face away from Tsukiyama and stood, striding out of the room in jerky, shaky movements.

Tsukiyama sighed, standing as well. He straightened his hair and clothing before following after Kaneki. He found him standing over the kitchen sink, splashing water over his face. He turned the tap off, having heard Tsukiyama's steps come up behind him.

"You should –" His voice caught. "You should leave."

Tsukiyama froze. He expected some yelling, maybe a kagune through his chest, but it was far worse than that. "Kane –"

"Just _go._"

A few seconds after he whispered the words, the front door closed behind Tsukiyama as he left. Kaneki brought his hand to his lips. They were still tingling after the kiss. His _first_ kiss. It would have been enjoyable. Indeed, Kaneki did like it. But, it also terrified him.

That man tried to make him his dinner. He would have killed him. He would have ate him. This was the same man that he had just kissed, let him _lick his blood off him_, and he was undoubtedly falling for.

Life just wasn't fair, was it?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: A Few Misunderstandings **

Tsukiyama knocked on the door hesitantly. If it was Kaneki who answered, he feared he might not be let in. He shifted back and forth on his feet as he heard light footsteps approach the door. Thankfully, it was Hinami who answered, who was still in her pajamas and had her hair uncombed and going in every which way.

"Bonjour, little lady. Is Kaneki in?" He asked softly.

Hinami nodded, rubbing her face with both hands. Tsukiyama glanced around. It seemed Banjou and his group were not there. The timing for Tsukiyama's visit was perfect.

"Tsukiyama? Why do you have flowers?"

Tsukiyama gaped at Hinami with mock disbelief. "Mon dieu! Do you not know what today is?"

She shook her head, eyes blurred and tired as she waited for Tsukiyama's explanation.

"Why, it is Kaneki's birthday!" He gestured to the gifts tucked under his other arm. "I'm here to give him his presents!" And for apologizing for the previous day.

Hinami held her palm over her mouth. "I forgot it was his birthday…" She mumbled guiltily.

Tsukiyama smiled. "Why don't you make some coffee for when Kaneki comes down? I'm sure he would like that. You could also go out with Banjoi for something when he comes back?"

Hinami nodded, expression clearing somewhat as she headed towards the kitchen. While she did that, Tsukiyama made his way up the stairs. He paused at the door to Kaneki's room before knocking softly. He was sure Kaneki was aware of his presence already.

"May I come inside, mon amour?"

There was a grumble of some sort on the other side of the door and Tsukiyama took it as an invitation, prepared to dodge the pillow that was half-heartedly thrown at his head a mere second later. "I said _no,_ damn it." His voice was muffled, as his head was buried in the remaining pillow on his bed. Tsukiyama thought he was imagining it, but Kaneki's voice sounded hoarse.

Tsukiyama ignored him and took a seat of the edge of his bed. "It's your _birthday_ and the little lady is downstairs making coffee special for you." Kaneki didn't say anymore, so Tsukiyama continued on. "And I brought you a few gifts…"

At that Kaneki threw the covers over his head and turned away completely. It seemed he lost him.

Tsukiyama set the flowers on the nightstand beside Kaneki's bed, careful to not place on them on any of his books and set the gifts on the floor.

"Kaneki – I also came to apologize for last night." The words burned Tsukiyama's tongue on the way out. His whole body was aching, but he kept his voice and expression as steady as he could.

"…apologize?" Kaneki finally lifted his head, revealing his face and Tsukiyama's stomach dropped. He didn't think he had ever seen Kaneki wear such an expression.

His eyes were swollen and red, undoubtedly from earlier crying, and dark circles adjourned his eyes. He was especially pale, skin not beautifully showing various shades of red like it had the night before. He was staring at Tsukiyama with pain in his eyes and a surprisingly vulnerable and open expression.

Had Tsukiyama caused this?

"Oui, I –"

"Get out." The words were just barely a whisper as a familiar, yet somehow different, glare settled on him. When Tsukiyama didn't more, Kaneki anger only seemed to grow. "_Get. The. Fuck. Out."_

Tsukiyama scrambled to his feet, seeing no other choice. Kaneki seemed ready to skewer him, and he wasn't quite ready to die. He quickly strode from the room. "I'll – I'll bring some coffee when it is ready!"

Kaneki didn't say anything as Tsukiyama closed the door behind him. He simply curled up again. He felt like a fool. He was so, so stupid.

* * *

><p>Tsukiyama tried to maintain his cheery exterior as he went back downstairs. Hinami may have been young, but she was sharp. She gingerly offered Tsukiyama a mug of coffee.<p>

"I'm not sure it would be to your taste…"

Tsukiyama smiled as kindly as he could and took a sip of the scalding liquid, not minding the pain. "It's très délicieux. Merci."

Hinami nodded and blew on her coffee, careful to not burn herself. "Big Brother isn't in a good mood, is he?"

"What would make you say that?" Tsukiyama asked, wondering if she had heard some of their exchange.

She stared at the mug in her hands intently. "His light was on all night. I don't think he slept that much…"

Tsukiyama blinked. He didn't sleep at their residence, so he didn't know Kaneki's sleeping habits. "That can't be good for him. Does he do that often?"

Hinami nervously intertwined her fingers around her mug. "N-not as often as he used to. T-though, now that I think of it, his birthday would bring up some bad memories… it has been a year since…" She was worried. "It's gotten worse again over the past week and Banjou went out to get some books for him this morning. I hope they help…"

Then maybe Tsukiyama wasn't the reason for Kaneki's earlier distress? He hastily finished his own coffee and poured one for Kaneki, quickly making his way his room. He entered, finding Kaneki in same position as he had found him in earlier.

He sighed, setting the coffee next to the flowers. He was so eager to return, yet he didn't know what to say when he was there.

"You brought the coffee, now go away." He sounded in pain.

"…Kaneki…" Tsukiyama decided to take his chances and moved to the other side of the bed, where Kaneki was turned. His face was still buried in the pillow. He cautiously watched the man as he knelt on the ground, acutely aware that what he was doing was risky and that Kaneki was unstable and could kill him if he wanted.

He gently placed his hand on Kaneki's shoulder. He felt him stiffen, and it was almost enough for him to withdraw his hand. But, Kaneki didn't make any move to throw him away or break his arm, so he left it. Eventually Kaneki relaxed and after a while Tsukiyama found himself tracing small circles with his thumb.

"Why –" Kaneki cleared his throat, trying to put some bite back into it. "Why were you apologizing?"

The question threw Tsukiyama off. Why exactly was he apologizing? Partially out of fear, yes. That was undeniable. But, he was more concerned that he had overstepped a boundary. If fact, he was almost sure he had. He was worried he had ruined whatever type of bond he and Kaneki had formed over the past year. He thought it may have been insignificant to Kaneki, but to Tsukiyama...

"I hurt you. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry you… hurt me? Not… that you _kissed me_?"

Tsukiyama heard the disbelief in Kaneki's voice. "If you would allow me, I would kiss you a thousand times more." Though of course, if Kaneki didn't want to, then he wouldn't. "But if you won't –"

He was cut off by Kaneki's laugh. It was gentle and quiet, and it had been so long since he had last heard it. Tsukiyama gaped at Kaneki as he raised his head, one hand covering his mouth as he chuckled. "I thought –" He laughed again. "And here I thought you regretted kissing me because you didn't like… it."

_Oh._ Tsukiyama smiled, hopes rising as he caught Kaneki's hesitance on the word 'it'. The words flowed out of his mouth before he could stop them. "I love you, Kaneki. I don't know exactly when I started to, but I do."

Kaneki flushed and slowly sat up, face becoming serious as one hand moving to cup Tsukiyama's chin. "Make me a promise."

"Anything."

"Promise you'll never betray me again." Kaneki was solemn, eyebrows pinched together and worry hidden deep in his eyes.

Tsukiyama gently took Kaneki's free hand in both of his, drawing it to his chest. He pressed it against his heart, allowing Kaneki to feel the beat. "Never again. I promise."

Kaneki drew in a shuddery breath, resting his head in the crook of Tsukiyama's neck. "Good. Now don't you dare break it, you bastard."

Tsukiyama simply pulled Kaneki tighter into the embrace, arms curling around his back. The warmth of his body was pleasant and Tsukiyama found himself nuzzling his face in Kaneki's hair fondly.

Kaneki found himself laughing again as Tsukiyama's breath tickled his ear. He felt oddly light and somewhat giddy. It was almost uncomfortable, given how his life had been for the past year, but he didn't mind it. It had been a while since he felt so happy.

He pulled back, smiling. "I think I would like my presents now."

"Of course, mon amour." Tsukiyama moved away from Kaneki, immediately missing their connectedness. He went back with the flowers and the package. Kaneki took the red roses, flushing. "There is a vase in here." Tsukiyama held out the package and Kaneki set the flowers down, taking the gift. He opened it, pulling out a thick, black piece of fabric.

"This looks… expensive." He felt the incredibly soft sweater, surprised Tsukiyama had bought something so plain. He pulled it on and Tsukiyama hummed in appreciation.

"It looks good on you."

Kaneki flushed deeper and dug into the bag, pulling out the vase so he could pull out the last item as well. He examined the black cover in interest.

Tsukiyama wouldn't tell him, but he thought he would like it since he seemed to have similar tastes in literature as Rize did. He recalled it to be one of her favorites. Hopefully, Kaneki would like it too.

Tsukiyama was pulled out his thoughts by Kaneki. His lips were pressed gently underneath his jaw. He pulled back after a moment and watched Tsukiyama, waiting expectantly. He didn't have to wait long. Tsukiyama kissed him tenderly and languidly. He placed a few gentle pecks on Kaneki's face and neck before pulling back, making Kaneki sigh. Tsukiyama kissed Kaneki once more on the forehead. He picked the flowers up from the bed and grabbed the vase, leaving to fill it with water.

He heard Kaneki grumble for him to hurry up as he left, and he did, but by the time he got back to Kaneki's room, he was already lying sideways across the bed, smiling softly in his sleep.

Tsukiyama retrieved a pillow from the top of the bed and slid it under Kaneki's head, trying not to wake him. As for the blanket, there wasn't much he could do but fold an end over him. He left, turning off the light and letting Kaneki sleep. He seemed like he needed it.

**Author's Note: **Thank you for reading! Thanks to those who have reviewed: FreakyFee94 and Sachiel Angelo.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Closer**

Kaneki woke in a daze, the darkness of his room seeming to swallow everything up. He blinked his eyes slowly, distantly wondering if everything had been a dream. It wouldn't have been the first time. He stayed in bed for a few more minutes, keeping his eyes closed and sighing. At least it had been a pleasant dream, unlike the ones that plagued him the earlier night.

He sat up, hearing movement downstairs and decided it was about time to head back to reality. The first thing that stuck him was his odd positioning on the bed, though he quickly dismissed it. It wasn't unusual that he would thrash around in his sleep, though that only occurred with his nightmares…

He got to his feet and stumbled across the room, searching for his light switch. That was when his foot caught something on the floor and he tripped, body hitting the ground with a loud thump. All noise downstairs went silent. Kaneki cursed and searched for the culprit.

_What the hell was a pillow doing over there_?

He was just picking himself off the ground when the door to his room opened. The light to his room flicked on.

"What are you doing on the ground, Kaneki?" Tsukiyama inquired, eyebrows raised. He saw the pillow and a smirk made its way to his lips. "Did you, by any chance, fall?"

"Shut up." He hoisted himself to his feet and tossed the pillow onto his bed. He would make it later. When he turned, he caught the colour red in the illuminated room. He frowned. When did he get roses? He froze and looked down at himself.

_Ah_, so it hadn't been a dream then.

He bit his lip and straightened his sweater as much as he could. He turned as he heard the door close and suddenly Tsukiyama was really close.

"May I?" His hands trailed up to Kaneki's hair and he nodded, allowing Tsukiyama to fix his bedhead. It felt nice, but he didn't think it took _that long_ to fix it.

He sighed as Tsukiyama raked his hands down to the nape of his neck. "We should probably head downstairs…"

Tsukiyama hummed and stepped back. "Oui. The others are waiting."

He gave Kaneki some distance and he was grateful. Kaneki didn't think he was quite ready for the others to know of their growing relationship. They went downstairs, Tsukiyama trailing after Kaneki.

As soon as he took the last step off the stairs, he was tackled into a hug by Hinami. "Happy Birthday!" She cried, smiling. There were a few murmurs of agreement from the other people in the room. Hinami took his hand and guided him excitedly towards the couch where everyone was sitting.

Tsukiyama followed, feeling out of place, but never the less glad to be there. He smiled as Banjou sent him another glare when Hinami wasn't looking.

The painfully, poorly decorated bag was handed to Kaneki. Kaneki opened the card, smiling when he saw it was handmade by Hinami. Her drawing was improving greatly. He opened the package to find a few books and some coffee cubes. He had run out a while ago, and never went back to Anteiku to get anymore.

"Thank you," he murmured. As he examined his gifts, there was an awkward silence. Kaneki raised his head, a hesitant smile spreading across his face. "Hinami, why don't you choose a movie to put on?"

Her eyes brightened as she went over to their television, shifting through a few discs they hadn't watched yet. She pulled out a movie and Banjou flinched. It was undoubtedly a horror movie.

She came back after the opening to movie had begun to play and she had shut the lights off. She took her place beside Kaneki, and at that moment he realized Tsukiyama was still standing off to the side. He moved over, closer to Hinami, and motioned for Tsukiyama to sit.

The three of them were squished on the too small couch, but Kaneki didn't think Hinami noticed at all. She was entranced by the movie, leaning forward in anticipation of the next scene. Kaneki, on the other hand, could hardly focus on the movie. He was pressed against Tsukiyama from his knee to his shoulder and it was hard to not give into the temptation to lean his head against him.

Banjou noticed Kaneki's discomfort and looked like he was about to yell at Tsukiyama when a motion on the screen caught his eyes and he yelled instead. Hinami giggled at his reaction and not long after yawned, blinking her eyes to keep awake.

By the time the credits were rolling, she had fallen asleep and was half curled up against Kaneki, snoring lightly. Banjou just looked drained. Kaneki started getting up to turn everything off, but Tsukiyama patted his knee and got up. As Tsukiyama cleaned up, Kaneki scooped Hinami in his arms and carried her to her room.

When he was back, Banjou and everyone else seemed to have left the room, leaving Tsukiyama. His expression lit up, only to disperse into a frown. "I suppose I should leave now."

Kaneki was about to nod, but he stopped himself. Instead, he shook his head. "I know it's selfish of me, but do you think you could stay for a while longer?"

"I would love to, mon amour."

Kaneki flushed and pulled Tsukiyama with him, back to his room where they could have some privacy. Kaneki closed the door behind them and Tsukiyama's hand immediately curled around his waist, pressing his back against the door. Kaneki moaned as Tsukiyama firmly pressed his lips against his in confidence, tongue in his mouth in seconds. Kaneki could hardly keep up, and instead surrendered himself to the shudders that ran through his body and the want to run his hands over Tsukiyama's back and chest. When he touched a certain spot, a deep sound, something between a sigh and a growl, came from Tsukiyama. Kaneki's breath hitched as Tsukiyama nipped his lip and trailed down to his neck, sucking roughly. Curious, Kaneki massaged the spot, realizing it was the spot when Tsukiyama's kagune came out.

Tsukiyama pulled back, staring into Kaneki's eyes, and started laughing when he saw the questioning look in them. He firmly grabbed Kaneki's thighs, making him yelp, and lifted him, guiding Kaneki to wrap his legs around his hips. He took a seat on the edge of the bed, Kaneki's weight deliciously in his lap.

He lifted the ends of Kaneki's sweater and shirt to his ribs. "May I?" Kaneki nodded and Tsukiyama pulled them over his head and Kaneki's hands came off him, only to return to his shoulders. Tsukiyama's hands trailed to the small of Kaneki's back, pressing gently. Kaneki moaned immediately, hands coming up to tangle in Tsukiyama's hair.

"That's –" A strangled gasp burst through his lips as Tsukiyama pressed harder.

He kissed Kaneki's cheek, loving the sound of his heavy breathing right next to his ear. "It's particularly sensitive. Especially if you exercise your kagune often. He felt Kaneki nod and swallow thickly. "Do you like it?"

"Y-yeah."

Tsukiyama hummed as Kaneki's hands came to his tie, loosening it and undoing his shirt. He would have gotten Tsukiyama to take it right off, but there was no way he wanted his hands to leave him. He decided to return the favour to Tsukiyama and went back to the spot he was massaging before, making Tsukiyama's fingers twitch against his back.

It was only when Kaneki shifted closer to Tsukiyama that he noticed the bulge growing in his pants. He whined at the friction as he unintentionally rubbed up against Tsukiyama. He pulled back with a groan and Tsukiyama's hands ceased their movement.

"Are you alright?"

Kaneki nodded, catching his breath. He wanted to touch Tsukiyama move. And he _definitely _wanted Tsukiyama to touch him more, but it felt like too much without any warning. Besides, he didn't have any lube. "C-can we stop?" If they didn't now, he wasn't sure he would have the mindfulness to _want to stop_ later.

"Yes." Tsukiyama instantly went to help Kaneki off his lap, steadying him while his legs trembled. Kaneki took a seat beside Tsukiyama, shifting uncomfortably as he came down from his high. Tsukiyama smiled as Kaneki tentatively rested his head against his shoulder.

Tsukiyama stared down at the flushed man tenderly, weighing whether or not he should ask… "Kaneki?"

"Hmm?"

"Would you like to have dinner with me?"

At that, Kaneki stiffened, probably remembering the time Tsukiyama invited him to his restaurant.

"Don't worry, I would get the supplies from anteiku… and… do what I can with it."

Kaneki laughed at the obvious distaste in his voice. "That would be nice."

"How about the twenty-fourth then? At my place? I could give you the address later."

Kaneki smiled. "Yeah."

Tsukiyama buzzed with excitement, kissing Kaneki affectionately. He felt him relax more against him and decided to convince him to lay down before he fell asleep again.

He must admit, he was surprised when Kaneki dragged him to lay down with him. And so, he found himself pressed shirtless against Kaneki's bare back, feeling him breathe deeply in his sleep.

**Author's Note: **Thank you for reading and thanks to 13AkiraKuranXIII for reviewing!


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Insecurity**

Kaneki searched through his clothes, frowning. What should he wear? It was only a dinner date at Tsukiyama's house, but still… he knew how Tsukiyama was. Chances were he would be dressed in one of his painfully bright suits, and though that was usual for him, Kaneki felt he should at least dress up for the date.

He supressed a groan as he pulled out the jacket. He preferred vests, but… He pulled it on. Thankfully, it fit him, though it did _not_ look good with the crumbled t-shirt he was wearing at the moment. A white dress shirt would do, he decided. No colour. God forbid he add to the abomination that was Tsukiyama's outfit.

Other than that, he was set for pants and shoes and – oh. A tie. He threw it all onto his bed and took off the jacket, adding it to the top of the pile.

He sat beside it and tapped his foot nervously on the ground. He still had – his eyes flicked over to the clock – twenty-two hours and eleven minutes until the date. Tsukiyama had set the time for seven o'clock, after talking with Kaneki.

He was buzzing with excitement, but at the same time his stomach was churning. Was it a good decision? Probably not… but… he couldn't deny that he was happy with his choice at that moment.

He just had to wait. But, he couldn't just sit there.

He decided to clean his room. It was long overdue anyway. He gathered all the stray books lying about and carefully found places to put them, throwing his mind into the task to try and distract himself. He folded the laundry he had done the previous day, pausing when he came across the black sweater Tsukiyama had given him. He pressed his face into the soft fabric and sighed quietly.

Wait.

Should he pack an extra set of clothes for when he went to Tsukiyama's? The thought made him blush. He wasn't sure he wanted the night to end like _that_, but if it did… But what would Tsukiyama think if he came prepared with a bag? He shook his head and groaned. _How embarrassing. _But what would be more embarrassing, carrying the bag or going home in the same clothes he left in the previous night? Well, obviously carrying the bag. _If _it came down to it, he supposed he could always borrow some of Tsukiyama's – no, that was not an option. Not only would they be too big, but his _sense of fashion…_ Kaneki would rather do the walk of shame.

_Why was he thinking about it?_

Blushing furiously, he left the laundry alone. He idly cleaned up the rest of the room, including the forgotten coffee mug sitting next to his flowers, which only brought back more memories and caused him to grumble to himself.

He threw himself down onto his bed and buried his head in the pillow.

* * *

><p>Tsukiyama's house was <em>massive.<em> He didn't know what he could possibly be doing with all the space. It towered before him, almost intimidating. It looked like it was made special for Tsukiyama. It was not Japanese styled. Knowing Tsukiyama the design was probably inspired by some country in Europe.

Kaneki sighed, fist raised to knock on the door. He would have much rather to bang his head against it. He shuffled his feet and gripped the bag under his arm nervously. He didn't know why he decided to bring the damn thing anyway…

He took a deep breath and hesitantly knocked on the door. It was opened immediately and Kaneki almost tumbled in. Tsukiyama must have been waiting for him to knock, already having known he was there. He huffed as Tsukiyama grinned down at him.

"Welcome to my humble home, mon amour!" Kaneki almost snorted. He wondered what types of houses Tsukiyama must have lived in to call this one _humble_.

After a moment he realized he was still standing outside, while Tsukiyama had stepped back to invite him in. He could see his eyes flick to the bag under his arm and he shifted it shyly so that it would be more behind him. He was relieved when Tsukiyama's eyes met his again and his expression remained unchanged, save for it softening a touch.

Kaneki swallowed at the uncomfortable feeling building in his throat. Did he want to take the step forward? Did he want to cross that threshold? He truly wanted to answer: _yes, without a doubt._ But now that he was standing before it, it felt so frightening. Even then, after all that had already happened, he was sure Tsukiyama's and his relationship couldn't go back to the way it once was. Not after he had seen Tsukiyama's gentle side, or after he had shown Tsukiyama his wavering trust in him, still bound by his insecurities. It wasn't like he wanted to go back to the relationship they once had, but did he _truly_ want to take it any further? Or was it just a naïve impulse?

Tsukiyama smiled softly and help out his hand, palm up, waiting patiently. After another moment's hesitation, Kaneki placed his shaking hand over Tsukiyama's. The second Tsukiyama's hand closed around his, he sighed, the warmth and gentle firmness of Tsukiyama's grasp making him feel grounded. He let Tsukiyama guide him into the house.

It was welcoming, and not as flamboyant as Kaneki imagined. Though it was large, it was tastefully decorated. He wondered if Tsukiyama had a talent in interior design or if someone else had decorated the house for him. Or, maybe he had just gotten somewhat used to Tsukiyama's extravagance. When he looked closer, he could see touches of Tsukiyama's style in the furniture as they went further into the house. It was particularly strong in the kitchen, where Kaneki guessed Tsukiyama spent most of his time.

He was so distracted by the home, he barely noticed Tsukiyama's clothing, which wasn't surprising given that he was dressed fairly normal, with his black pants and a simple dress shirt of a deep blood red. For the first time, Kaneki felt horribly overdressed while standing next to him. He supposed maybe Tsukiyama did it for him, in the same way that Kaneki dressed up for him.

Kaneki pulled at his tie restless, wanting to take it off, but he decided against it. He appreciated that Tsukiyama dressed down, and guessed Tsukiyama felt similarly to the way Kaneki dressed.

He was led to the dining table and he couldn't help but admire the setup. The room was dark, illuminated by only the few candles that were placed on the table. The table cloth was a pristine white, as were the plates.

As Kaneki sat, his stomach turned. He wasn't sure if it was nausea or hunger. The scent of food coming from the kitchen was incredible, and he couldn't wait to bite in, but it was the first time he had eaten with anyone for a long time. Being new to being a ghoul, and almost always in a constant state of near starvation, with only the flesh of other ghouls as his sustenance, he wasn't sure he would be able to control himself when the meal was placed in front of him. With the elaborate, and rather romantic, display, he felt embarrassed and horrified with his own compulsions as he desperately tried to rein them in and get some semblance of control before the meal was served.

He noticeably jumped when a hand was placed on his shoulder, squeezing lightly. "Don't worry." Tsukiyama said, "I understand."

Kaneki considered whether or not Tsukiyama knew what he was thinking, or if he had misinterpreted his actions. Never the less, he was calmed by his kind words and found a small smile coming to his lips. "Thank you," he murmured, placing his hand over Tsukiyama's.

Tsukiyama's other hand came to his cheek, caressing it with his palm. His lips pressed hesitantly to Kaneki's forehead and they both relaxed into the odd embrace.

They were interrupted by the ding of the oven, signalling that the cooking time was over and Tsukiyama slowly detached himself to retrieve the food before it overcooked.

Without Tsukiyama's reassuring presence beside him, Kaneki felt strangely uncomfortable as he yearned for more of his touch. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself and tried to focus on the task at hand, which was getting through the meal without making a fool of himself.

He knew Tsukiyama wouldn't judge him for it, but he did not need the reminder of his own lack of self-control when it came to such things. Besides, he did _want_ to have a nice meal with someone again. It was something he thought he left behind in his human life.

He wanted to try to savour what Tsukiyama had obviously put so much time into preparing.

He felt his eye turn under his eye-patch as Tsukiyama slid a still steaming piece of meat that closely resembled a steak on his plate.

**Author's Note:** Thank you for reading! Thank you for reviewing, FreakyFee94!


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** You can find the explicit part of this story on AO3! If you have any trouble finding it, you can send me a message! Also, if you don't have a fanfiction account, you can message me on my tumblr, or use the search to look under 'my writing' on my blog. My user name is the same for both my tumblr and AO3 account: **attackonhunter**

**Chapter 5: Hunger**

"Bon appètit," Tsukiyama murmured, taking his place on the other side of the table. Kaneki offered a small, pained smile while grabbing his fork and knife, his stress almost making him regret agreeing to have dinner.

He punctured the end of the meat with his fork, carefully slicing off a small, bite-sized piece with his knife. He tried to not look too distracted by seeing the meat cleaning cut apart. The saliva in his mouth was pooling with desperate anticipation of the flavour that he would taste.

He chewed slowly, worried if he gave into any one of his temptations, that the others would also take forefront and he would lose control. It was truly the best thing he had ever tasted in his whole life. He swallowed and the small piece hit his stomach, filling him with the pleasure that only a ghoul would know. An addictive pleasure that would keep him reaching for more and more and more. The pleasure that had turned Rize into the binge eater. He felt as though life was filling him.

He wanted more.

But, he placed his utensils down, taking a deep breath.

"Is it not to your liking?" Tsukiyama's worried voice cut through the fog in his thoughts.

"It's good." He clenched his fists in his lap. "_Really _good." A nervous laugh bubbled in his throat as he calmed down slightly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to worry you… it's just…" He felt Tsukiyama's leg brush up against his under the table and he extended his leg so they could have more contact.

He forced another smile as he picked his utensils back up and Tsukiyama did the same. He saw Tsukiyama's eyes turn and it offer him a form of comfort. Despite his refined palate, Tsukiyama felt the hunger like any other ghoul would. The only difference was he was used to putting up the façade and controlling himself. But, he also probably wasn't as hungry as Kaneki was.

Kaneki took his next bite and found it no easier, but he felt he may have at least made some progress on his outward appearance.

Hopefully.

With his slow eating, it took him a while to clean his plate. But still, it felt like it was gone too soon. He fought the craving to lick the plate. It wasn't good manners.

Tsukiyama finished at about the same time as he did, and quickly cleared the table, much to Kaneki's relief. After the temptation was gone, he felt more at ease.

"Thank you," he said when Tsukiyama came back to the table. "It was delicious."

His words brought a genuinely pleased smile to Tsukiyama's face and Kaneki felt his heart stutter. Maybe it was the frustration of being hungry after just having eaten, or maybe it was the hunger within him taking another form, but he stood, catching Tsukiyama before he sat back down and crashing their lips together with enough force to make his lip split.

He heard Tsukiyama gasp as he caught him off guard. Tsukiyama pulled back quickly and Kaneki made a small noise of protest. As Tsukiyama started down at him intently, unmoving, Kaneki grew uneasy. He downcast his eyes as his expression dropped, confused by Tsukiyama's behavior. Did he not want to…

Kaneki shifted uneasily and began to take a step backward…

Tsukiyama's arm wrapped around his back and the other came to his chin. Kaneki pursed his lips and met Tsukiyama's gaze hesitantly.

"Mon amour…" Tsukiyama's lips ghosted over his jaw, trailing down to the crook of his neck. Kaneki angled his head to give him more access, but Tsukiyama just placed one more soft kiss before resting his head on Kaneki's shoulder. Tsukiyama sighed, "Sometimes I can't believe this isn't really happening. That I'm caught in a dream. I've been dreaming about this… before I even knew what I wanted. I love you, Ken. I love you so much." He began to speak quickly, his voice shaking, and his cool and calm act quickly collapsed. "I've hurt you so badly over and over. I'm sorry. I'm so, _so sorry._ And I could never ask you to return my feelings –"

Kaneki abruptly pulled Tsukiyama from his shoulder and into another quick kiss to stop his rambling. "I do." He stared firmly at Tsukiyama. "I forgive you." Tsukiyama opened his mouth again and Kaneki put his index finger over his lips. "_Shuu."_ He never knew when to shut up, did he? "_I love you._" And the truth was it terrified him. He didn't have the courage to say that he loved Tsukiyama until then and Tsukiyama's caring expression filled him with a warmth he couldn't describe. It made him wish he had confessed when he had the chance earlier. He wished he hadn't hesitated, because in the end there was no way he could stop what his heart wanted so badly.

His eyes trailed over in the direction of the front door, where his bag was. He was glad he brought it. He was sure what he wanted, as long as Tsukiyama did as well…

Tsukiyama's voice cut through his rampaging thoughts. "Dèsolè. I'm keeping you too late, aren't I? I could show you the bathroom so you could change. Ah! Do you need help with your mission tonight? I could go grab my mask…"

Kaneki blinked slowly, confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You brought your battle attire with you, non? In the bag?" Tsukiyama asked, raising his eyebrows. "Do you want help? Not that you need it, but… in any way I could, I would like to –"

He was cut off by Kaneki's quiet laugh.

He frowned, looking upset. "If you don't want me to…"

"_Shuu."_ Kaneki sobered, though a grin still touched his lips. "I – that's not –" Another chuckle. "I-I brought the bag because…" He suddenly felt nervous again as he anticipated Tsukiyama's answer. "I was wondering if I could stay _the night_."

"…_oh._" Tsukiyama's cheeks slowly started to burn as he caught on. "_O-oui…"_

Kaneki released the breath he was holding and practically ran to retrieve the bag. He didn't know if Tsukiyama had any lube so… he ran back to where Tsukiyama stood flabbergasted, a hand over his mouth. He reached out and tightly grasped the hand that was hanging limp down by the man's side. "Bedroom."

"Right." He mumbled, guiding Kaneki down a hallway.

**Author's Note:** Thank you for reading. Thanks to FreakyFee94 and Lice Michaelis for reviewing!


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Morning (and Afternoon) After**

Kaneki huffed, rolling over as he slowly woke up. He stretched his limbs languorously and opened his eyes, gazing at the ceiling. He almost panicked when he realized he wasn't in his own room, jerking up into a sitting position. As his senses came back to him he caught the scents left from the previous night's activities. He dully noted Tsukiyama was no longer in bed, which didn't surprise him given how late in the morning it seemed to be. In his place was a folded black towel with a slip of paper and a rose placed on top of it. He smiled as he picked up the letter, opening it.

'_Good morning, mon amour,_

_I hope you slept well. Coffee will be waiting for you when you are ready to come to the kitchen.'_

Kaneki put down the letter carefully, picking up the towel. When he inspected the room, he could see a door open to a bathroom. He quickly got out of bed, making his way to it. He felt gross. Well, he felt _really_ good. But also gross. Not to mention all sticky. A shower was definitely needed.

As he stepped into the stream of water, he momentarily admired the great water pressure. He washed quickly, taking only time to cautiously smell the products before he used them.

He dressed and paused to check his appearance in the large mirror in Tsukiyama's room. He ran a hand through his wet hair, working out some of the tangles, and straightened his sweater. He paused only to take the flower in his hand. He didn't feel right leaving it in the room.

He hoped he remembered the way to the kitchen. He didn't want to get lost. The hallway looked a lot different than it did the previous night. Thankfully, when he smelt coffee, he knew he was going in the right direction. He turned the corner, expecting to see Tsukiyama at the table or standing by the counter and blinked in confusion when he found it to be empty. The only thing out of place was a steaming mug of coffee on the counter, and another sheet of paper and a rose beside it.

Frowning, Kaneki leaned over to examine the note.

'_Is the coffee to your taste? Would you like to come join me?' _There was an arrow pointing down a hallway.

Kaneki guessed Tsukiyama had heard the shower running and made the coffee while he was in it. He took a sip of the coffee Tsukiyama made him. It was surprisingly good. Humming happily, he took the rose and added it to the one in his hand and carried the coffee in his other. He went down the hallway, stopping when he once again saw a note and a rose.

'_You're so important to me.'_

Kaneki continued, picking up the notes and flowers as he went, following the arrows.

'_You make me want to try harder.'_

'_I want to do better for you.'_

'_I want to make you happy.'_

'_I love you.'_

'_I keep loving you more every day that I know you.'_

Kaneki entered a brightly lit room and gasped. The room was filled with books and was as big as a library. It was spacious and there was a set of brightly coloured couches and a wooden coffee table on a black rug. Tsukiyama was sitting and reading a book, but looked up when he heard Kaneki enter. He put the book down on the table and smiled.

Kaneki made his way to the table and gently put the objects in his grasp down. There was plenty of space to sit, but Kaneki sat next to Tsukiyama, leaning against him. "Good morning." Tsukiyama wrapped an arm around Kaneki, pulling him in tighter, and Kaneki closed his eyes, sighing contently.

"Good morning." Tsukiyama said, pressing his nose into Kaneki's damp hair and petted it affectionately. Kaneki reached up and tilted Tsukiyama's head so he could kiss him. The kisses were lazy and sweet. After a few slow kisses, Kaneki found himself relaxing more, and found an aversion to the positioning they were in. Tsukiyama's arm was uncomfortably jutted against his chest.

He pulled back momentarily and swung a leg over so he was straddling Tsukiyama's lap. "Mmm. Better," he murmured, placing his hands on Tsukiyama's shoulders. He pressed their lips together again and continued their make out. It ended slowly, the length between their kisses getting farther and farther apart, until they were just resting their foreheads together, starring into each other's eyes. After a few long moments Kaneki began to blush, and he hid his head under Tsukiyama's chin, listening to his steady heartbeat. Tsukiyama's hands went to his back and slipped under his sweater, gently massaging and lightly scratching the bare skin.

"What were you reading?" Kaneki asked, cuddling against him.

"It's a cooking book. I've been reading up on desserts. Humans seem to enjoy them, and I thought there might be an equivalent for ghouls."

Kaneki hummed. "Tell me about what you've read."

Kaneki hear the pitch of Tsukiyama's voice peaked when he began talking, obviously excited to talk about his passion. Kaneki didn't share Tsukiyama's love for food, but he listened intently, throwing in questions every once in a while, which Tsukiyama was more than glad to answer.

After a long while they fell silent and Kaneki just enjoyed the sensation of being held so tight against Tsukiyama's warm body and feeling his chest rise and fall as he breathed.

* * *

><p>Kaneki didn't know what time he fell asleep. By the time he woke up in the late afternoon, and there was nothing but moonlight coming through the window. A blanket was laid over him and a pillow was tucked under his head. He shook his head. He ended up sleeping the whole day, when his time would have been better spent with Tsukiyama.<p>

He wandered, looking for the man in the massive home. He frowned when he found he was alone in the house. Did Tsukiyama have to go out somewhere? He was about to give up when he caught a glimpse of purple hair out of one of the windows in the kitchen. He smiled and went to the door leading to the patio. It was a little cold out, but Tsukiyama didn't seem to mind. He was sitting on a stool, staring up at the sky. Realizing he hadn't heard him yet, Kaneki snuck behind him and wrapped his arms around him. He froze a second before relaxing.

"Mon amour. You're awake."

"Sorry I feel asleep." Kaneki said, resting his chin on Tsukiyama's shoulder.

Tsukiyama shook his head slightly, his hair tickling Kaneki's nose. "Don't be. You haven't been getting a lot lately, have you?"

"…no."

Tsukiyama turned in his arms and he was forced to lift his head. As he was still puzzled, Tsukiyama lightly tapped his nose. "I just want you to be happy and well."

Kaneki smiled. "Thank you." He cupped Tsukiyama's face in his hands. "But don't forget, I want the same for you too. So, don't you dare go do anything stupid. You got that?"

Tsukiyama's face brightened with happiness. "Yes."

"Good."

While staring up at the moon with Tsukiyama he imagined they could make it work. They could continue loving each other, and when the whole mess with Aogiri was over, they could live their lives together. With Tsukiyama's arms around him and soft lips coaxing him deeper into every kiss, it was easy to imagine that nothing could ruin this happiness. It wasn't perfect. It was far from it, but for the moments they were together it damn near felt like it. But, not everything lasted forever, and Kaneki never did realize how frail the life he had was.

**Author's Note:** Thank you for reading! Thank you to Lice Michaelis for reviewing! Only one more chapter after this!


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: WARNING:** Severe depression. Set during RE.

**Chapter 7: Returning Home **

Tsukiyama laid in his bed, staring into nothingness. The room was dark, curtains set all around to block out any light that might come through the windows. Every once in a while he would hear movement in the house. It was probably Kanae. It didn't matter to him.

His mind drifted. It always did. Coherent thoughts became too difficult for him to manage, so he ended up just dissolving in his dreams, both when he was awake and asleep. He couldn't tell the difference between the two anymore.

He thought of the young man he used to hold in his arms. He thought of his smile and the way he used to sigh when he was nestled comfortably against his chest. He thought of his laugh, and the lazy evenings they would spend together and how he used to rest his head upon Tsukiyama's lap and allow him to play with his hair. He thought of the way he would flush and tuck his head down when Tsukiyama paused to admire him for too long. He thought of the slow kisses they would share, and the not so slow kisses. He thought of the passion, the love, and he lying next to him with his arms wrapped around him and his breath slowing as he fell asleep. He thought of his sad smile when he left Tsukiyama on that rooftop and ran to his death.

It had been so long. It had been so long since Kaneki was alive. All he wanted for him was to be happy and well. So, how did it end up the way it was? It was all Tsukiyama's fault. If only he was strong enough to stop him. If he was, then Tsukiyama would have been able to save him.

He felt his eyes prickle, but he didn't know if he was even capable of crying anymore.

There were raised, yelling voices, but he ignored them. Shortly after the door to his room opened. He didn't want to return to reality. Every time Kanae came in and forced him to, didn't he know what he was doing to him? Why couldn't he just let him live his dreams…?

"You're really in bad shape, aren't you?" Tsukiyama's head jerked up. He knew that voice.

His footsteps came closer to the bed and Tsukiyama anxiously peered through the darkness, heart pounding. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he came into sight. He was a little taller and his black roots were growing out. But, his smile, his eyes, they were the same. Tsukiyama inhaled sharply and cursed himself for letting his sense of smell dull. If only he could smell him…

"K-Kaneki. Is it really you?" Maybe he was hallucinating again. When was the last time he ate? Maybe this was just a hunger induced illusion. The thought speared him, but his hopes kept rising as the man came closer. Tsukiyama knew he would be disappointed when he disappeared again. He didn't want to hope. It only brought him down more in the end, but he couldn't help himself. "Kaneki. Kaneki. Kaneki." He kept mumbling his name brokenly.

A hand touched his cheek and he shuddered. "Yes," Kaneki murmured, but Tsukiyama wasn't sure. All his hallucinations said that.

The door suddenly burst opened again and Kanae rushed in, looking disheveled and very angry. "You trash! Don't you dare touch Master Shuu!" He appeared as if he was about to charge Kaneki, but Tsukiyama weakly held up a hand, signalling him to stop.

Kanae did, and questioned, "Do you know this man, Master Shuu?"

"Yes." His voice sounded pitiful to his own ears. "Let him stay." If Kanae saw him, did that mean Kaneki was actually there, or where his hallucinations just getting more complex?

"Ah! Wait! You're –!" Kanae stared at Kaneki as he remembered Chie's pictures.

Tsukiyama's head hurt, and he was startled by Kaneki's voice. "He looks hungry… do you have any food on hand?"

Kanae's eyes darted between Kaneki and Tsukiyama. "Do you wish to eat, Master Shuu?"

Tsukiyama nodded and Kanae quickly left. Kaneki gently brushed Tsukiyama's hair out of his face and tucked the stands behind his ears. He continued to stroke Tsukiyama's face, and every time Tsukiyama felt his heart jump.

Kanae came back with the food and Tsukiyama dismissed him. He seemed reluctant leave with Kaneki there, but he followed his orders. Tsukiyama reached for the food that was on a tray placed over his lap, put Kaneki caught his hand, looking sadly at his overgrown fingernails.

"Allow me." He took the fork and knife and cut the meat into pieces. Tsukiyama sighed after swallowing the first piece that was offered to him. He was hungrier than he thought he was. He would have eaten quickly if he was able to, but Kaneki kept a steady pace. After he was done, Kaneki moved the tray.

Tsukiyama's hunger was taken care of, so was Kaneki actually there? Or had he finally completely lost it? He kept staring at Kaneki skeptically, and Kaneki's smile wavered.

"Are you really here, mon amour?" Tsukiyama traced Kaneki's cheekbone and his lips. "Or are you just…" Apparently he was capable of crying. Tears streaked down his cheeks.

"I'm here." Kaneki wiped away the streaks and kisses away any other tears that started their way down from Tsukiyama's eyes. "I have some explaining to do, don't I?"

Tsukiyama nodded and hesitantly pulled Kaneki down onto the bed with him. Kaneki laid down, bringing Tsukiyama's head to his chest. "What happened?" Tsukiyama mumbled.

"After I… left, I fought. I ended up running into Arima." Kaneki laughed without humour, thinking of his _father_. "I was outclassed and he defeated me …I lost my memories. My name was Sasaki Haise and I worked for the CCG as an investigator. But, I remember now." Kaneki sucked in a tight breath. "I'm sorry I left you for so long."

Tsukiyama pulled Kaneki closer to him. "Will you stay now?"

"I… won't do anything reckless like that again." Kaneki said firmly. "I promise, I will always do my best to come back to you."

* * *

><p>The morning came and Tsukiyama woke up to Kaneki curled loosely around his side. Careful not to wake the man, he slowly stood. It had been a while since he last did and his head spun and his legs protested profusely. He made his way to his bathroom and stared at the mirror he had Kanae cover long ago. He couldn't stand to look at himself. He didn't know if he could even then. He wondered what Kaneki thought when he saw his present state.<p>

He drove forward with the simple desire to at least look presentable. Even with Kaneki there, he still felt a darkness looming over him. He feared to be left alone again. He couldn't bare it.

But, he wanted to try. He didn't want Kaneki to worry about him. He didn't want to worry about himself. He wanted to try to work towards the light again. He wanted the happiness he once had. He wanted to be free of worry. He didn't want such emotions to tarnish his time spent with Kaneki.

He would give all the effort he could. Even if it was just starting with trimming his nails and taking a shower. It was something.

Kaneki was waiting for him when he returned. His bed was stripped, and there was a glass of blood on the end table, obviously from Kanae. Kaneki give him a broad smile as Tsukiyama went to him as quickly as he could, sitting beside him. Kaneki kissed him lightly on the cheek and handed him the glass.

He felt a smile come to his lips. With Kaneki supporting him, for the first time in a long time, he welcomed the idea of hope.

**[END]**

**Author's Note: ** Thank you to everyone. Thank you for reading. Thank you to those who have reviewed: sara, illumi, FreakyFee94, Shinji. :D


End file.
